Who Pressed Flash-Forward?

Today I realized a fear I didn’t know. All of a sudden reality hit me in the face and now I found myself breathless against the wall in the fight of my life. I hear 1 2 3 4… but I can’t stand-up, I smell my own blood but don’t care, I feel like every cell of my body is aching but I have no strength to care, I see my mom, my mad, sisters crying but I can’t speak, I can’t tell them am okay and I love them. I enter in desperation, I feel like if an invisible hand raise me up and whisper me to fight, to wipe my tears and keep on, keep on… the voice fade away. Am up again, am clueless but willing to fight with all my strengths leaving outside all fear, all sadness, all happiness, everything.

That’s how feel like, like a big fight, when am just lying in the ground helpless and even do I have no chance I keep on for family, for my friends, for myself and above everything for God. I could have stay in the ground but I decided to never give up. I see… everything, I see my 9-year-old self crying ,I see a 11-year-old version of myself being called ugly my childhood, then I see my teenager self being rejected, I see whiteness, peace, life, joy, and every emotion. In a snap everything fades and… Am standing in reality but am no longer scared, am happy and determined.

P.S Determination and Happiness are the clue when you find yourself facing your biggest monster. Even when there’s no possibility to win, remember anything is possible if you believe in yourself. Enjoy life, enjoy every bit of it, be happy, be reckless, be stupid, with a big smile and a big heart you will be unstoppable.

MelleDwyer.

How To Say A Lie

People lie every second of the day, is something natural on human beings. Since the beginning of life we lie and it’s a lie saying you are absolutely honest. Everybody lies is the hard truth, so who to believe. No one, everyone or just let it go? Even do you know is a lie. There are small lies like a kid saying he didn’t broke aunt’s favorite cup and big lies like cheating on your wife. There are also good lies like saying your BFF how amazing is the necklace and knowing you will never wear it. But why do we say all this lies? To make it through the day without a scratch on the suit, to make someone happy, to make myself happy or just maybe, because I can lie. The real truth is we are selfish bastards who lie because is easier, is secure and harmless. Is better to say your boss you were sick with lupus instead of saying you were fucking your lover in Bahamas, is better to say I love that new wallpaper instead I hate that wallpaper and even better to say I control my life and nothing would ever happen to me than I don’t know how to control my life and am scared something might happen to me. We lie even to ourselves! Sad… yes but is the truth. Maybe right now you are thinking this freaking moron has never lie in his entire fucking life why is he saying we are selfish bastard he is the selfish bastard who is even lying about lie. YEAH buddy, I lie everyday like every other person but I have the guts enough to say I lied to you and heart to have regrets. But what makes me different is that I make the change. I rather prefer to hurt someone by telling the truth than to hurt someone by lying. Perhaps, the biggest change we can ever do is stop lying to ourselves and you will see how better the world can be. See like you have never seeing, smell like you have never smelled, hear like if you were deaf before and feel like this was your last moment to feel. Don’t cover yourself with lies because it the end your life will be your biggest lie, years don’t come back so live everyday with a smile and an open heart.

P.S Am not saying you shouldn’t lie, my saying is to love enough to be honest and whenever you feel like you have to lie remember is you choice, your life and your heart.

Mdwyer-